This tought came out of the blue, so pardon me for not being able to recall any particular situation that led to it. I was wondering—once again—about the matter of perception and of how it can differ from one person to the other, and the question that arose was… for us, people who are or have been fat, are our perceptions very much different from those of people who’ve never been?
For instance, my mother and grandmother, who’ve been heavier than I am for years, think I’m fine the way I am now. I still have my belly, buttocks and huge thighs, and I sure wouldn’t call myself “slim”. Am I really “fine enough this way”? And by comparison, wouldn’t a naturally thin person call me “fat”?
I wonder if the fact that we’ve been heavy (no matter if it was at the borderline between overweight and obesity, or clearly into morbid obesity) plays a role in the way we define “slim”. I wonder if we don’t tend to be more lenient in that regard, because, after all, a person who’d be labelled “slightly overweight” by a thin one would still look way better than at her heaviest weight, right? A woman who’s 120 kgs would probably feel so very happy at the thought of being 61-62 like I am now that she wouldn’t wonder “is this slim enough?”. Or so I think. To me, it’s really a matter of relativity, of perspective. My sister is 48kgs, which is very thin for her height, but would she consider 55 to be healthy and normal, or to already be on the lower side of fat?
I know that the important thing to do is find at what weight we feel the best, but I can’t stop thinking that finding the right weight may be harder than it seems. How to ensure that we fully recognize the moment when we’ve reached our appropriate weight (not necessarily the goal weight, but the one we’d be best at)? How to ensure that this weight is appropriate, and that we’re not setting our goals “too low”, simply because we’re not used to be slim, and may be confusing “normal weight” with “too easy to maintain”? (Example: 63-64 kgs, for me, is easy to maintain in that I can allow myself regular treats I honestly don’t need nor even always crave, but I know it’s not a healthy enough weight yet, not given how small I am. Were I to learn to crave healthier treats, such as fruits instead of nasty refined foods, maintaining a lower weight would become easy as well).
Very likely I’m torturing myself with such thoughts, but I’m really wondering if this isn’t part of my problem (that I already mentioned) of not expecting high enough from myself? Because I haven’t been under 60 kgs since I’m 12, I may be considering this “good enough” for me, while it’s not true. Who said that we needed to shoot for the moon, so that even if we don’t reach it, at least we’ll be among the stars? This is exactly how I’d feel about it. Is it a problem I’m the only one to have? Or something that we all face at some point or the other?…
Tags: weight | weight loss
October 31st, 2005 at 07:06
yes. you said it yourself, it’s all about perspective. if you are ok with the weight you are at now, then stay there! But it seems like you’re just trying to think of ways to justify the weight you are at now. Maybe you are underestimating yourself but don’t forget to appreciate where you’re at every step of the way.
October 31st, 2005 at 18:09
I think of the same things a lot…I feel your pain (as always).