It took me more than one week to come back to this blog, but since I’ve done much worse in the past, I probably don’t need to apologize. Besides, I needed the time away. I also needed time, a lot of time, to work on an oral presentation that I finally went through on Monday, and given my general state of exhaustion last week, finding the strength to do school-related activities was no small feat. I think the presentation went well. But it’s not what I’m going to talk about today.
In general (and perhaps also due to my young age), I think I can consider myself as kind of blessed in terms of health. Although the period when I was the most overweight made me quite miserable, I still wasn’t plagued with serious illnesses. My worst moments, I knew them in my childhood, when I caught every cold, otitis and other nose/throat-related ailments. Even this has subsided by now, and I suspect that the Power of Fruits and Veggies® had a lot to with that. Therefore, overall, I’m a happy camper.
But I have a Sword of Damocles over my head–one that I’ve always had, without being aware of it until now. The result of a genetic test I made in February arrived in the mail yesterday, and it’s official: I’m heterozygous Factor V Leiden. I already suspected it. I prepared myself to it (if you’re expecting the worst, then the worst cannot crush you as much as it could if you were full of hopes, right?). Now it’s simply been confirmed.
It’s a blow, alright. I had hoped no matter what that I’d pass through it. Tough chance. Now what?
Well, I can live with it. This is my decision. I can and I will live with it, and if it can be another reason to go on pursuing a healthy lifestyle, then I’ll take this positive side of things over all the negatives. The major change right now for me will be to go off my BC and take another one. Or not take any; it’s not like I really need it at the moment anyway. I just went on taking it for the really nifty benefits of not bleeding to death five days a months and cramping like crazy for three. If I lose this, I don’t need the pill for the time being.
I have no control over my genes, that’s a given. This said, there are things I can do. Moving, not living a sedentary lifestyle? I can bike to work and school instead of taking the bus, and have a walk after lunch and dinner, and go on exercising several times a week. That was on the program anyway. Controlling my weight, because obesity increases the risks? Already doing it. Mention it if I need to get surgery? Tell my doc to temporarily put me on blood-thinners if I ever have to fly for ten hours straight? Sure, I can do that as well.
For what it’s worth, I may not have any problems at all during all my life. It’s just a risk. A more important risk than for a normal person, but a risk, not an absolute given. I’m the only one who gets to decide if I want to let this make my life rotten with anxiety, or if I want to go on leading the life I’ve started to carve for myself.
Is there any need to say that I haven’t chosen anxiety? Remember the benevolent wolf…
I guess it’s a shame that it takes a health problem to make most of us realize what is good for us and what isn’t. But it’s the way it is. In the end, it alway goes back to our choices. So I’m seizing all the reasons to never let myself fall back into my old, wrong habits. Because now that I know for sure, and not only theoretically, that they could be akin to me playing Russian roulette with my veins, all of a sudden that McDonald’s meal doesn’t seem so appealing anymore.
March 13th, 2008 at 16:26
I’m so sorry to hear you got test results back that gave you bad news. I guess in the long run it is good that you know … like you said, now you know how important it is to have a healthy lifestyle.
It sounds like you’re handling it well. Good for you for not giving in to anxiety, and for choosing action instead.
March 13th, 2008 at 18:05
I agree with Happy. Let this knowledge empower you to actively lead with more gusto the life that will lead to improved health and fitness. A positive attitude will make all the difference!
March 13th, 2008 at 20:14
Happy and CC, thank you.
I’ve had enough negativity in my life these past weeks, I really don’t want more!
What’s weird is that I didn’t expect I’d react this way. I mean, I went on a binge for less than that in the past, so I don’t really understand. Well. I won’t complain.
March 14th, 2008 at 09:54
I guess it’s better to know so you can work around it.
It sounds like you are on the right track.
March 14th, 2008 at 17:09
I agree, you have a great attitude about it.
And as you pointed out it’s just a risk, not a certainty. I hadn’t heard of V Leiden before and it sounds like something any of us could have without knowing it! You’re way ahead of the game in knowing about it and what you can do to lessen your risks.
Your positive attitude is very inspirational!
March 14th, 2008 at 19:03
Andrew and Crabby — Thank you as well.
From what I’ve read, in my area of the country, something like 10% of people could have this mutated gene. If my mother hadn’t had a phlebitis in November, I probably wouldn’t have done the test, and I’d still live in bliss, er, ignorance.
Honestly, I still don’t know where that positivity is coming from. It must be the anti-depressants or something. Or simply because I’ve had two long weeks of complete negativity, so now I’m swinging the other way.