Color Me Fit: weight loss, fitness, exercise

That little anecdote came back this very morning, as I was getting dressed up for work. Because, yes, a pair of trousers I’ve bought about one month ago is starting to slide on my hips too. It’s both good news and very aggravating, since I really can’t afford to buy a whole wardrobe again this summer, but I’ll bitch about that another day. For now, what I want to talk of is the terrible power of denial, and the kind of trap it can quickly become.

Most of the people I know who have lost weight, or are in the process of losing weight now, have had, at some point perception, issues regarding their own bodies shrinking while they still believed themselves ‘very fat’, but some of those people also were caught in the opposite belief before: they were convinced that they weren’t that fat, and only after losing weight did they realize that they actually were. And that is a matter of perception, but the way I see it, it is also–mostly?–a matter of denial.

Denial is something awful. It’s the power of convincing ourselves that we aren’t that fat and don’t need to make an effort. It’s the power of telling ourselves that we’ve done so well that now we can afford that extra slice of pie, and then again two days later because, hey, we’re doing so well! It’s the power of eating triple-sized portions while thinking they are normal-sized just because they were packaged that way. It’s the power of looking at clothes that are too small and casually declare that they have mysteriously shrunk while in the dryer (if you find a piece of clothing that manages to shrink that way all of a sudden after years of having worn, cleaned and dried it the appropriate way, then I’m willing to believe that somehow, the laws of physics have changed, and nobody has passed me the memo).

That’s exactly what I’ve experienced myself, and I tell you, reflecting upon it, it is… well… fascinating and frightening all at once.

A few years ago, when I was in my sophomore year of college (that was after I had shed a good 8 kilos ‘naturally’, simply because my lifestyle had changed due to school constraints), I had bought a cute grey pair of trousers for the summer. It was a nice piece of clothing, about which a friend had ever said: “They give you a very mature, corporate look.” I liked those trousers. They were too long, and like many other clothes, I had to trim the hems so that I wouldn’t tread on them, but nonetheless, once that was done, I loved them.

Then life went on, I moved, I made a change of career (the first one), I got a job, I moved again, and I moved again, and started working from home, and unwanted pounds piled on. Pounds that I didn’t pay attention to, since I didn’t have a scale, and lots of my clothes had–good old mistake–elastic waistbands.

At some point, while cleaning my wardrobe, I found those pants again, and put them on. They had an elastic waistband as well, and the legs had a large enough cut, so I didn’t feel like they were very narrow on me, but oddly enough, this time, they looked too short. I could see my ankles, whereas before, I couldn’t. I looked odd wearing them.

Would you bet on me thinking “I must have gained on weight”? Nooo. Of course not. “They must have shrunk in the washing-machine. Or, no, I know–actually, I’m crap at sewing, and a few years ago, I cut the hem too short.” Not even remembering that ‘a few years ago’, those hems were just the right length. I’m crap, but not that crap.

Since then, I’ve finally realized and understood that when gaining on weight, this can cause your pants to be tighter on the hips and thighs, and therefore look and feel shorter than before. The contrary is true as well. See the pair of new trousers mentioned at the beginning of this post, and that are already getting too big and slightly falling on my hips, little by little.

Denial much? Denial much, indeed. “My trousers have shrunk.” Yeah, right. Clothes randomly shrink in the closet after two or three years of not having been worn. How odd, that this only happens when I have gained on weight, and never when I’m able to maintain, hm.

And I could go on, and on, and on. There are so many matters of denial, so many opportunities to bury our faces in the sand, to turn a blind eyes on all the little omens that should, on the contrary, alarm us and make us act before too much weight has piled on.

Lesson of the day: pay attention to clothes getting too tight or too short, clothes that seem to shrink when nothing has been done to them that should entail such a consequence. It seems so evident and so stupid, but it can’t be, right, since so many of us manage to overlook those signs, and buy bigger clothes instead?

Yes, it’s worth for me as well. I’m guilty as proven.

- Kery

Tags: clothes, denial, weight gain