No, no, I’m not speaking of fitness and healthy foods. Scared you, huh?
I just wished to write this down, lest I should conveniently forget my mistake and conveniently repeat it later on while looking all doe-eyed and whispering “Oh, if only I hadn’t done that”.
Granted, in itself, it’s not a terrible mistake. I won’t even attempt at pretending that I went into a guilt-trip due to it (remember? No bad-mouthing about myself, because it only makes things worse, and anyway I don’t deserve any of this). All day long, I had been keeping wary about it maybe happening, so I had made sure to not go overboard calories-wise during the day (filling, fibery red cabbage for the win!), and I went over my daily limit by something like 200 calories, not that much more. Nonetheless, I want to keep track of that particular instance.
So what’s the big mystery event?
I was at my parents’ for the week-end. I’m desperately trying to convince them that whole grains are better than white flour and that drinking sodas all day long really isn’t that necessary, but it’s a tough, tough task, and an overwhelming one. Point is, when I’m there, I know it’s hard to eat completely healthily, and that short of bringing my own food (which is a little insulting and a physical, rotting burden in my backpack), all I can do it keeping tabs on controlled portions and the likes.
My mistake was that, after spending the Saturday afternoon in Germany to buy muesli and other good grains that are cheaper than in France, we were all very tired, and none of us, including myself, felt like cooking. My mistake, I know; I could have shrugged it off and fought my laziness to at least fix myself some quinoa. As a result, we grabbed food on the way home, and ate it there (traditional Alsacian bakery stuff–salty, not sugary).
Here is where a weird thing happened. That ‘dinner’ (which was about 650 calories all by itself, if I’m not mistaken) left me ravenous. Almost as hungry as I was before we started eating. This is a response I do NOT get from salty foods, especially not when they’re salty AND somewhat fatty. It would rather be the contrary. It took a hot cup of tea, in the end, to finally make that weird hunger go away. Afterward, I wondered if maybe there wasn’t some hidden, added sugar in that supposedly salty food. I can’t be sure, but the more I think of it, the more I am reminded of a reaction to (artificial) sugar, a sort of craving that feels like real hunger, but isn’t. (Because I cannot believe a cup of tea is supposed to quench hunger for more than a quarter of an hour. Besides, I was hungry again during the night.)
In any case, the next time, I don’t care if I’m being rude or ungrateful, but I will definitely put tabs on that quinoa, or even pasta, or an egg, or buy some apples for myself. Anything but such foods again! I can live with the knowledge that I went overboard calories-wise and have to be careful for the next days, but I am certainly not willing to live with the frustration of still feeling hungry after eating all that stuff.
And today was Mother’s Day, and my pancreas is crying. Oy. I can’t wait for that upcoming full week of good foods and homemade meals prepared by yours truly. I’m a crappy cook and I eat in a very simple way, too simple according to some, yet at least it makes me feel full.
No offense to my parents, though. They meant well. I used to like that specific salty food a lot, I still do, and in smaller portions, I still allow myself to have it from time to time. But that particular batch or recipe felt… definitely funny. Definitely not worth it, too.
- Kery
June 4th, 2007 at 22:04
Ooh, I hate that too: to eat junky food when you don’t even feel like it, and then end up hungry. Not fair.
Good for you for not beating yourself up about it. I think you’ve said this before too, but the reality is, in social situations sometimes you have to make such a big stink to get what you need to eat that the social costs outweigh the caloric ones.
It would be nice if the world in general, and families in particular, were more supportive of healthier choices. I’ve got mine trained to know I’m “weird” about food, and they try not to complain when I eat the lions share of the salad and skip the white bread, but I frequently end up eating what’s on offer. (Both to be social and ’cause some of it is awfully tasty).
June 5th, 2007 at 09:23
I’ve probably said it before, indeed, even if I don’t know when any more. ^^ Maybe I’d be harsher on that point if I had to attend several social gatherings a week, though, and it was really a necessity to bitch about it in order to not gain weight; but as it is, it’s Christmas and Mother’s Day once a year, so meh… That’s an opportunity to teach myself some self-control, too.
I suppose I’m weird as well–no salad dressings and no butter-laden cooking!
This drives my mother mad, she doesn’t understand how I can like ’such bland foods’ (uh, herbs and spices, anyone?).