Yesterday, I had a nasty reminder that I should remain wary of circumstances - always. No matter when I reach my weight goal, no matter how much time I need to do so, no matter when I live the days when I become a maintainer rather than a dieter - I will always have to remain vigilant. Yes, that’s exactly it: never let your guard down, girl.
I will admit that said circumstances were specific; in the morning, my boyfriend and myself attented the funeral of his grandmother. While her death was probably a sort of relief, in a way (she had been suffering from Alzheimer’s for years, and her decline was painful to see), the loss of a beloved one is always a shock, and a funeral is never a joyous happening. Carefully watching what I was eating was, honestly, the least of my worries on that day, even if I hadn’t known her very well myself and probably wasn’t the most “involved” attendant.
The direct consequence of this, during the family lunch that ensued, was that I kept piling bad choice over bad choice. The meal was made of French fries, ham and salad with dressing; nothing too bad at first sight, right? Well, no, especially given the fact that I shouldn’t eat fries at, nor associate them with meat. I took two servings of each, which in the case of fries and ham wasn’t a good thing. It was followed by a cake, a delicious one with almonds and iced sugar on top, a kind of cake I truly like. I managed to hold good and take one slice only, even though the cake was left right under my eyes for a good half-hour after it was served; still, this was one slice too much: had I been home, I would never have had cake for dessert!
The rest of the day? Some of the family members our age came home in the evening. As this was unplanned, I hadn’t enough healthy foods for five people, I was too tired too prepare two kind of meals, and I scrapped what I could from our cupboards, which turned up to be pasta with tomato sauce. Again, not too bad? Sure, except for the small bretzels we ate before, that had been brought by one of the guests. I must admit that I wasn’t the one who ate the less of them; I have a serious weakness for bretzels, much more than for cookies or other types of wrong foods, in fact, and I simply didn’t manage to resist.
What’s now, on the day after? The understanding of a clear fact: I can’t let my guard down. Never. Even though I resisted some of the temptations, I still fell for the others, and this isn’t the right thing to do. My body isn’t happy at all, and woke me up this morning to a bloated feeling and to an itch of shaking all of this by a good old hike in the woods. Partly I’m craving such sugary foods again, and partly I’m eyeing at the cod in the fridge, repeating to myself that this will be for dinner, and that no refined product will pass my lips today.
Were the circumstances specific? Yes. But this isn’t an excuse. What if someday, the circumstances kept piling up on each other? What about a bad day at work, the boss angry over a failed contract, the car breaking down on the way back home, being late for dinner, and to top it all, discovering that the dog has peed on the carpet while I was away? What about chaining such a day over another bad hair day? What about these days that, no matter our efforts to consider things in a positive way, just go terribly wrong? These can happen several times in a row. These can truly take me down, either with a full-blown binge to calm my nerves, or by making me so angry that I can’t focus on eating healthy at all and will slam a half-kilogram of spaghettis in the pan. If I can’t hold good for one day, what about these times of life where things are just rough for a few weeks or a few months?
We all go through such days. We all go through “specific circumstances” that make us indulge ourselves a bit too much. It is a constant danger, and a constant battle to keep telling to ourselves that, no, eating the whole cake won’t make the loss easier or the boss’ anger just a mere memory.
While I’m not for guilt-trips into the world of self-contempt that tend too much to binges rather than to a healthier counterpart - while I’m all for considering it as “it has happened: now, I’ll make better choices at the next meals”… there’s a difference between “once” and “several times”. I must be wary of the “onces” that pile upon each other and turn, in the end, into nothing else than a “several” - and so must we all be.
I think that as long as this fact is understood and acknowledged, that we know that the slips can (and will) happen, there is room for acceptance, and for correcting our slight mistakes before they cause us to simply give up. We’re not perfect, nor are we complete failures. There is always room for improvement, and for learning to recognize the traps we may fall into.
- Kery
June 23rd, 2005 at 05:54
Hi. There is a way to avoid having to do a maintenance diet. When you reach your goal, try this:
Every other day, for 21 consecutive days, eat EXACTLY HALF what you normally eat. If you usually have a sandwich and a bowl of soup for lunch, have half a sandwich and half a bowl of soup. Whatever you usually have for a snack, have half of it. Do this with all your other meals and snacks, every OTHER day for 21 consecutive days (not 19 days, not 29–21). From Day 22 on, drop the “half” day.
Along the way, write down all the changes you notice in your eating habits (there will be lots) and in how you feel about food. All the best.
June 23rd, 2005 at 06:09
Actually, Keri, you can use the system I described earlier before you get to your goal. It will change your eating habits whenever you use it. Be sure you eat the way you intend to eat after you finish dieting, though. If you have questions, you can always email me.