I was browsing a couple of older posts on a blog I recently discovered, when a particular post reminded me of something that happened to me in a clothing store last month. I felt this could be worth sharing, so here goes.
I was in that store, browsing through various kinds of pants, since all of mine tend to refuse to stay on my hips without the help of a belt. I was looking for something nice, a pair of capris perhaps, anything that would last me through the summer (or so I hoped), but wouldn’t cost me lots. Student on a budget and all that. Finally, I found something that looked good on the rack, and went into the dressing-room.
Well, guess what, the pants didn’t fit. Not because of me, that is, but because of their cut. They fit on the hips, but were definitely way too big at the waist (and my waist isn’t the narrowest thing in the world either..; go figure). Any kind of sitting position in those would have allowed passers-by to get an absolute view on my G-string, buttcrack and beyond. Thanks, but I’ll pass. Getting them in another size wouldn’t have solved the problem, and no other piece of clothing had happened to strike my fancy; I just went out to put the capris back on the rack, then out of the store.
That’s when the Salesperson Of Doom walked to me with her smile and her usual question of “What is the problem, miss? Do you need another size?”
Now here’s the trick. My very first thought was to tell her “Uh, no, the cut is just horrible, there’s no way I could ever wear that kind of stuff. Were they on crack when they designed it?” But not wanting to get cross looks from the personnel of a store in which I will probably go back all the same for the next clothing line season, I tried to figure out something that would sound at least remotely diplomatic to the saleswoman, and couldn’t come up with anything better than; “It’s okay, my body just isn’t made for that kind of pants.”
To which she answered with a chuckle: “Please, don’t say that. It’s just that the cut isn’t right. But it’s not a problem. I’m sure we have other pants with a better cut.”
After that, we both chuckled together discreetly when I said, “Yes you’re right, that cut really doesn’t fit at all; I was just trying to be diplomatic”, and looked for something else.
But now, I am wondering.
Even though my first thought was a positive one regarding my body, why did I still feel the need of saying something like this? I suppose I could have said “No, thanks, a size above or under wouldn’t fit either, I’ve already tried”, or something to that extent, just to cut the matter short. But no, I had to come up with something ‘witty’ that would make me look like the imperfect one. Was it because that particular saleswoman was rail thin and I automatically assumed that she was already thinking something along the lines of “of course it doesn’t fit her, she’s too fat for those”? Did it make sense on the moment to belittle myself as ‘the fatty who evidently can’t be nor do better than others, so she has to admit SHE is bearing all the flaws’? For goodness’ sake, this was a pair of capris; it’s not like they’d have turned and sued me for libel.
I’m still unsure of what was the reason behind that. It was unpleasant, because it brought back memories from junior high, when even though I wasn’t showing it and was acting with enough self-confidence, I would still automatically think that a thin girl was necessarily better in all aspects than an overweight one, just because she was thin. I didn’t know that kind of thought was still in me, so it probably surprised, then frightened me a little. At my age, after all the life experiences I’ve been through, I should definitely know better.
So, the next time I’m asked such a question, I will simply say, in all honesty: “I’m sorry, but the cut just isn’t right.” And also prevent myself from assuming what a person is thinking (because, hey, that saleswoman was pretty nice and giggly and all).
And diplomacy can kiss the shiny G-string protruding out of those unfitting capris.
June 23rd, 2007 at 00:29
I HATE that. The worst is when they treat you as if they are better - I want to say, “um, hi, you’re working the store, not spending the cash, not designing and profiting from the fashion!” The snobbery is ridiculous.
June 23rd, 2007 at 00:52
It’s funny the things we find ourselves “apologizing” for, when common sense tells us we’re being silly. Do men have this problem nearly as much? I somehow would guess not.
In your case, it sounds like the clothes-fitting incident brought up some old stuff that was kind of painful. But I’ll find myself apologizing for goofy things I have no real issues with, almost just to have something pleasant to say. As though saying “I’m kind of an idiot” is a social pleasantry. Weird.
June 23rd, 2007 at 10:52
Sara — Indeed, some of them can be pretty snobbish at times. That’s when I pull the “Oh finally I won’t buy this, after all I’m not good enough for it”. Of course, I need to be quite pissed off for starters to do that. I’m not that mean.
Crabby — I don’t know if men have this problem as much. Or we do have it twice as big because we’re women and overweight on top of it? I don’t know. It’s an interesting question, and if one day I have the opportunity of asking that to my male friends without coming too weird and goofy, I’ll do. This is definitely the kind of things that are quite mind-puzzling. Sometimes, we areally apologize for every kind of shit.
June 29th, 2007 at 16:51
I had the same experience a week ago. Having lost a fair amoutn of weight over the years and then gotten athletic on top of it, I figured wearing sackish clothes was not something I should settle into and went on a quest to find some pants and shorts to wear for the summer…and there seem to be very few indeed that are cut for me.
The funny thing is I assumed that now that I’d reached my fitness goal finding clothes would be no problem…but it seems that there are no clothes cut for “normal” women. I’m curvy and athletic and I like it…but it was a fruitless shop trip.
They fit on the hips? …well they gape at the waist, or bulge out all over the place and expose things only my husband would want to see when I sit down.
It’s hard enough feeling good about yourself some days…it seems as though the fashion industry has it in for all sizes of women.
I say we all unite and make clothing likne of nice stylish stuff that’s sexy and actually fits. Anyone want in?
June 29th, 2007 at 18:03
Welcome to my humble blog, Geosomin.
I say I want in as well. Not every woman in this world is a rail-thin stick whose hips are as narrow as her waist. Actually, it corresponds so little to the majority of people that it’s mind-boggling to notice that so many clothes are geared to that type of body.
I went to look at some more clothes today (sales until August 4th!) and, lo and behold, same problem. This time, I had to give up on a pair of capris (yes, again) because they fit perfectly at the waist/hips, but wouldn’t fit my calves. GAH. Can’t we have, like, stuff for real women for a change?